I met up with Theresia,one of my diving's friends after church we made it in Setiabudi Building, the place where I used to go when I worked in Menteng.
I actually arrange this "rendez-vous" for her to meet Ian, hahahha...one more time doing crazy thing. I dont know why I dressed looks like a lady today, maybe want to get attention from him? ehhmmm no lah, I got over it now..but still not full confidence yet because of my English still below the standard.
There he was, with black T-shirt and tee pants, looks good and clean and tidy..I like that..
No more shivering, no more nervous (a bit), I saw Theres, a bit nervous and but she is ok, she looks nice..We talked about diving, actually he took all the conversation because as you know ...his diving trip ..ehhmmm cant count it anymore..too many pages...but it was nice, to see him talking with sparkling eyes and funny face..I like his stories..
After spent lunch time in Caz we went off to his appartment, to get some diving stuff for theres, he gave a shaker to her, hmmm lucky you Theres...hehehhee..!!!!!!
I didnt feel very comfy because I realy dont want to disturb them, Theres said that she doesnt really interest with him, but I never know...
On the way home, we still keep talking about him and also martin..(what? is he apart of this conversation?)
To be honest, I still like him but now, I feel different feeling, I still adore him but I can not explain the way I am feeling now..its still there but this time I really surrender because I know...........???!!!!
Am listening to "my one and forever" fav song..MY WAY, I like this song since I was 13 years, I even wrote it down in my diary...
I lost all feeling who made me down, which made me feel nervous, which made me confuse..happy? dunno because sometime with these feelings, it make you more live but at the end just leave you a bad taste..
Thats a human I think, never satisfied with what they got, always looking for something else, but if you dont feel and have it in your life, you will never get what you want..
I also want to make up my mind, I want more mature, more knowing myself..
I am not bad as what I thought, I know it..I also have something special in my life, which make people who close to me proud of me..
So, I try to love myself..thats much more better than keep looking for myself ....
But I need to say THANKS for people who gave me fluence wether its good or not, because we only can learn from our experiences...is it right???
