I miss you guys......
I miss the time that we spent together...
hope we can dive together day and night...
I miss the laugh that we share together....

TOUJOUR A POSE

ACTION

TWO SEPARATED COUPLES

DISSAPEARED


I was a bit angry because I have finished tow rite my blog, and suddenly my PC was turned off..oh la la merder....I have put some pics,at that time I really miss Jordan so I called him but his Papa, who picked up my phone...excuse moi monsieur...
I Have a new friend, He is a japanesse, KOICHI AI, he is very different to other japanesse who I know.never went to karaoke, never to disco, never to Blok M ( sorry?) I like to hang out with him.Frankly I really want to be his friend, hope can be a good friend.
Plan to go dive with him this saturday...
And one thing I need to say...I re-bonding with my old friend, VANDA..around 3 years a go, I had a conflict with her, but now...I realized that I was so childish and too sensitive at that time..so Van, sorry for that..hope we can bound and get a long together as a good friend.
See....I really need some good guys to be my good friends..and I am happy that I can learn a lot in my life...and first I need to say THANKS GOD FOR BEAUTIFUL LIFE AND I NEED TO SAY THANKS MY LOVE JESUS EVERYDAY..
I must realize how blessed I am with his love, what I need to do now is focus with my life and be confidence ...

HEHEHEHHEHE

I saw him with a girl ..and my time said...ENOUGH..
No more talking about him and please please forget him....

okiedokie...with a bitter smile

Je deteste


I hate to miss him....
I hate to feel this kind of feeling
I hate to remember him
I hate to know that I like him
I hate myself because I like him

I MISS MY KIDS

Monday morning, I feel so bad mood to work, to chat, to do anything..why????

I was up and I scolded Willem this early morning....I feel so guilty after that.....why should I did that?? he is just a boy..sometime I think myself is too arrogan and too fierce to my kids...but I am also a human, I cant avoid everything and be 100% a perfect mother for them.

I called him a few times but Willem didnt answer me, and suddenly he said am sorry mom, I forgot to say ...Ik kom er......

And when they starting to fight, Luisa is always crying and crancky....but I know I will teach them a bad habbit..loud voices ...

and now I am thinking I need to change my self first then they will follow me..

I love my kids and I miss them everytime I send them to the school, I am so happy to see them playing with other kids, they a have a natural childhood. Oh My Lord,Jesus, Please bless my kids with their living way, their life....

I love you Willem and Luisa, my little prince and princess

NINE MUSES

Last saturday night we had a party for Max's birthday..well its not a party wbut we can called dinner together with a group.It was nice place and great food and also nice people. And yesterday,planned to go dive with Willem, but after I counted how much I have spent for my pleasure this month..oh la la...this is not going work..so I cancelled the trip change to the cheapest one..cycle in Ragunan..hehhe is it not nice? of course its a nice things you can do in this cosmopolitan city like Jakarta..mal,KFC,Kids stations..the place you went thousand times.
And I just woke up now, writting my blog..Putaint I have been sleping for more than 8 hours..HOW COME???????

UNTIL WHEN?
I just back from Stix, Park Lane..you know the place where always reminds of him...Sometimes I think I am to stupid, I know..I am..
I have a good hubby, very nice kids but I also dont want to feel this kind of feeling..but what should I do???
I miss him a lot and when I found out that he is now in USA, oh my god...I cant help myself to remember him.
I wish all the best for his happiness. To be frankly I like him so much and I have tried so many times to forget him but he still appear every single night in my dream.

Hope you are ok and safe and happy all the time...from your secret admirer..

LAST TEXT FROM SANDRA

Just got a text from Sandra...

Bye Sweetie, Love you and will miss you a lot!!X

Putaint...I am sad..really..I know,I will be ok but still I feel lost her.
And this wednesday I will fly to bangkok, remember the first time I went there.Sandra was busy to prepare everything for me, she wrote down every place that I should visit, she gave the contact number where I can reach there.She explained me everything about to do and not to do...

mais cest la vie...

And now, i am sitting in front of my computer and thinking about myself...
I should more cheer up and not so weak and weak like this.I dont know what happened to me lately..I feel so tired,no spirit, sensitive,maybe I will get my menopouse..hhihihi